Category: Other Stuff / Top Lists
Reader rating: 4.71
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Consumer instructions
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed by stupidity, here is our favorite sampling of actual label instructions found on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (The shoplifter's special.)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
On a Swann frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But it's just a suggestion.)
On Tesco's tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom of box): "Do not turn upside-down."
On Marks & Spencer bread pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
On Boot's children's cough medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
On Nytol sleep aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
On an American Airlines packet of peanuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
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